All We Are
by roadtoforever
Summary: Where do you go when you think you have nowhere else to go? Addison/Derek PP Cast. Chapters 2&3 posted.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I haven't written Addison/Derek, _Grey's Anatomy_ or _Private Practice_ in a while, so bear with me while I get to know the characters again.

**All We Are**

_I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong, black and white didn't fit you_

When she first sees him in the waiting room, she doesn't recognize him. What she sees is an older man, holding a baby that could be either his child or his grandchild. He looks older than he should, she thinks, like he's been through too much for one person to handle.

"Who is that?" She asks the new receptionist, a little blonde girl that sometimes even makes her jealous.

"Derek Shepherd." She says his name like it means nothing, and while to her it doesn't, it sends Addison in to a tailspin, because not only has it been nearly three years, but she knows why he's here and whose baby he's holding.

She clears her throat. "Give him to Dell," she says, her voice coming out much calmer than she expected as she turns on her heel and heads straight for Naomi's office.

"Dr. Montgomery?" Claire's voice echoes in the otherwise silent waiting room and it's all Addison can do not to take off running. "He asked specifically for you."

"Of course he did," she mutters, ignoring the confused look on Claire's face as she turns around. Derek is already looking at her, his blue-grey eyes the saddest she's ever seen them. "Come on back," she says softly, watching as he cradles the baby against his chest and picks up a diaper bag before following her to her office.

Sam notices them walk past his office and pokes his head out the door, clearing his throat. Derek doesn't seem to notice and Addison just shakes her head, not in the mood for the whole practice to immediately know that her ex-husband is in town.

When Derek finally steps in to her office and sets the pink diaper bag on one of the chairs, Addison clears her throat. "So…"

He sighs. "I know you probably don't want to see me, but…I need your help." Addison just nods and he adjusts the baby in his arms. "This is, uh…" Derek sighs. "She doesn't even have a first name. She's still Baby Girl Ellis Grey-Shepherd."

"So you're married."

"No. We are…" he shakes his head, "were engaged."

"Were?" He nods and looks away, but she sees the tear hit the yellow blanket that the baby is wrapped in. "Oh, Derek…"

"Th-there were complications during labor and Karev had to perform an emergency c-section." His voice cracks and he sits heavily in a chair. "Meredith didn't make it."

"Derek," she kneels down in front of him. "I'm so sorry." He nods and tries to wipe his tears while still holding the baby against his chest. She hands him a Kleenex and sits down in the chair opposite him, holding the diaper bag in her lap. "I hate to ask this, but…why are you here?"

He lets out a soft sigh and the baby instinctively snuggles closer to him. "She's five days old. I-I didn't know what to do." He looks up, and when his tear-filled eyes meet hers, she starts to break. "I needed you."



An hour later both Addison and Cooper have looked at the baby, and Derek and his little girl, deemed perfectly healthy, are asleep on the couch in Violet's office. The seven members of Oceanside (six doctors and one mid-wife) settle in the conference room once all seems well everywhere else.

"So that's the ex-husband," Cooper sits down next to Addison, who immediately puts her head in her hands. "He seems okay…"

"I want to know why he's here." Pete says, his voice demanding. Despite that he and Addison have never reached the 'relationship' phase of their…situation, he always seems to get extra angry whenever another man comes near her.

"He has a five-day-old baby and his wife just died." Addison sighs, her face still buried in her hands. "He's scared."

Naomi sits down on the other side of Addison and sets a hand on her best friends shoulder. "Adds…"

"Him showing up should not affect me like this," Addison whispers, looking over at Naomi, who nods. "It's been three years."

"Sometimes these things just take time," Naomi says, squeezing Addison's shoulder. "It won't always be like this."

"You mean some day we'll be divorced and living separately but still sleeping together?" She says, getting laughs from everyone but Sam and Naomi, who just roll their eyes. "I know you're right, I just…can't really imagine us being friends after everything that has happened."

"Just give it time, Addie." Sam says, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"At least the baby is cute," Cooper says, and Addison looks up and smiles. "And healthy."

"Yeah." She shakes her head. "And no-named."

"Oh god." Violet wrinkles her nose. "He's not going to ask you to help name her, is he? The poor girl is going to end up named Bat Girl."

"Or worse, Carson." Addison scowls and throws the Kleenex box on the table at Dell, who laughs and dodges out of the way. "_What_?"

"Carson is not worse than Bat Girl!" She says, crossing her arms over her chest.

Naomi laughs, "Actually, Add…" The room breaks out in laughter and Addison rolls her eyes, standing and leaving to check on Derek and the baby.

When she steps quietly in to Violet's office, the baby is already awake, snuggled close to Derek, her eyes wide with wonder. Addison carefully lifts the little girl in to her arms and sits down in the chair. "You sure do look like your Daddy," she says softly, watching as the little girls blue eyes sparkle with delight when Addison snuggles her in to her warm embrace. "Maybe they're right. No one as cute as you could be named Carson." The baby just stares up at her, blinking sleepily. "We'll find a good name for you, okay?" Addison smiles as the little girl snuggles closer to her, one tiny hand resting against Addison's breast as she drifts to sleep again.

When Derek wakes up twenty minutes later, the baby is still fast asleep in Addison's arms, and Addison is so enthralled with watching her sleep that she doesn't even notice Derek is away until he clears his throat.

Addison looks over at him, a little startled, and smiles. "She sleeps really well."

He nods. "Yeah, she does." Addison goes to hand the baby back but he shakes his head. "She's comfortable around you."

She smiles. "So you have a name for her yet?"

He shrugs. "Meredith liked Aubrey, Brooklyn and Teagan, but I don't really know which one she would have picked."

"Aubrey Ellis sounds good. How about that?"

Derek looks over at the baby. "Aubrey Ellis Grey-Shepherd." He whispers. The baby shifts in Addison's arms and he grins softly. "It's a mouthful, but I like it."

"So do I."

"Even though it's not Carson?" Derek laughs softly and Addison scowls.

"If I didn't have a baby in my arms, I would throw something at you."

He grins widely and runs his fingers through his hair. "I've missed you, Add."

She nods. "I've missed you too."


	2. Chapter 2

**All We Are**

_You were shaded with patience, and strokes of everything, that I need just to make it, and I can see that..._

"So..."

"So." Derek looks around the restaurant and out on to the boardwalk. "This is a nice place."

"The restaurant, or the city where I live?"

He smiles. "Both."

Addison nods. "I know." She takes a sip of her iced tea and sighs. "Derek, we've been here twenty minutes and you haven't said a word. You're the one that wanted to have lunch."

"I just said..."

"Derek!" Addison sighs. "Look, I told you that I would help when I could, but I have a job. You've been here a week and you haven't done anything but hang around Oceanside."

"Not true." Derek pouts. "I got a job."

"Yes, because Cooper's ex-whatever is still Chief-of-Staff and is your biggest fan...you realize you've downgraded from Neurosurgeon to ER Surgeon, right?"

"At least I'm still a surgeon." He says, grinning.

She glares at him as the waitress brings their food. "Derek, what do you want?"

He waits until the waitress leaves and then sighs. "I need a place to stay."

"You have millions of dollars, Derek. Buy one."

"I don't have time to look, I start at St. Ambrose on Monday."

Addison stares at him for a minute and then shakes her head. "No."

"Addie..."

"No, Derek, no. I am not letting you move into my guest room!"

"Come on, please?" He smiles softly and runs his fingers through his hair. "It won't be for that long, just until I get situated enough at St. Ambrose to take a little time to find a place."

"Stay at the hotel."

"Aubrey keeps waking people up. I've gotten 6 noise complaints in the last two days."

"So instead you'd rather she wake me up?" Addison rolls her eyes. "I don't think so, Derek."

"Addie, you sleep through _everything_." He reaches across the table for her hand. "I need this."

Addison shakes her head. "I'm sorry, Derek, I can't."

"Why not?"

"I-because it's weird, that's why not!" She yanks her hand away from his and folds her arms over her chest. "We've been divorced for four years, I'm not letting you and your baby move into my house."

"Fine." Derek slams his fist into the table. "Thanks for nothing."

"Hey!" She leans across the table. "I don't owe you anything, Derek Shepherd. You left _me_."

"You slept with Mark first."

"No, Derek, you left me first." Addison lets out a sigh. "Four years later and you still don't understand that?"

"Understand what?"

"You left me long before I slept with Mark. It doesn't matter that we were still married, or that you kissed me good morning or slept next to me in that bed...you were too engrossed in your work to notice that I was dying without you."

His face softens. "I'm different now, Addie."

She shakes her head. "It doesn't matter. You hurt me. And I don't care how many years it's been, I'm not ready to let you back in yet."

"Add..."

"I'm sorry, Derek." She stands, tossing a 20 dollar bill on the table for her lunch before turning to leave. "You're just going to have to find somewhere else."

* * *

He does.

Sam, who is trying to figure out what the hell kind of a relationship he's really having, offers Derek his guest room when Derek tells him about the lunch with Addison. Sam feels like he needs some guy time anyway.

What he forgot about was the baby.

The first few days are fine, because he and Derek are on opposite shifts and Derek always puts Aubrey in daycare when he works, but when Derek asks Charlotte to put him back on day shifts, Sam starts to lose sleep. Mostly because Aubrey has more screaming power than he's ever hear before.

When Sam falls asleep in their staff meeting for the third day in a row, Naomi corners Addison and begs.

"I never get to see him anymore."

"Maybe you two should just move in together."

"We're not ready for that yet."

Addison rolls her eyes. "Nae, you guys were living together two months into your relationship back in med school. What is the difference?"

"The difference is that we're trying to take it slow this time."

"Three years?"

"Addison, please."

"I can't have him living with me! He had a baby with another woman, who died, and I just—I can't!"

"Well what is Sam supposed to do?"

Addison sighs. "Sam is not my problem. Neither is Derek. Why can't you just let Sam and Derek figure it out on their own?"

"Because they won't."

"Well I guess that's the way it is." Claire poked her head in the door and Addison nodded. "I have a patient, Nae." Naomi leaves and Addison tells Claire to give her two minutes. When Claire leaves Addison reaches for the pillow on her couch and screams into it as loud as she possibly can. Los Angeles was supposed to be her thing, a place where there was no McSteamy, and certainly no McDreamy, but it looked as if that was no longer going to be the case.

* * *

"You've got to go."

"What?"

"I'm sorry," Sam sighs and runs his hand over his head. "You're my friend, and I know things are tough for you right now, but it's three in the morning. I can't keep waking up like this. I need better sleep."

"So do I, Sam. She's still adjusting."

"You've been in Los Angeles for a month and my house for three weeks, how much adjusting does she need?"

"Dude, come on."

"I'm sorry, Derek. Tomorrow is your day off. Find someplace else to live."

* * *

When Addison steps out of her office, she's surprised to find Dell cradling Aubrey to his chest. The dark hair on her head has started to curl even more and her blue eyes are wide open, staring at Dell as if he's the most interesting thing in the world.

"Where's Derek?" She asks, running her hands over Aubrey's hair and immediately getting the little girls attention.

"Trying to find a place to live."

"Sam finally kicked him out, huh?"

Dell nods and then looks over at Addison. "You know..."

"Please don't start."

He sighs. "I was just going to say, this shouldn't be about whether or not he's your ex-husband. He's a friend in need. Imagine all that he's going through."

"Dell..."

"His fiance died just over a month ago, he can't sleep because he's not skilled enough with babies to get his little girl to calm down...what if it was Sam? Or Cooper? Or Pete?"

Addison shook her head. "That's different."

"Why? You've known Sam as long as you've known Derek, you've slept with Pete...it's not that different."

"Yes, it is."

"Addison." Dell hands the baby to her and shakes her head. "It's not that different. Stop thinking about yourself."

"I'm not!" Dell shakes his head and walks away and Aubrey lets out a gurgle, causing Addison to look down. "Are you agreeing with him?" Aubrey coos and then wrinkles her face and Addison laughs. Aubrey's eyes widen and her hand reaches up to grab Addison's hair. "You're pretty cute." Addison heads back in to her office and settles on her couch. She lifts Aubrey up and sets her feet on her legs, holding the little girl up with one hand on her back and one on her butt. "Would you like to live with me?" Aubrey gurgles and reaches for her hair again. Addison laughs. "I guess I'm going to take that as a yes."

* * *

"You're not even going to help?" Derek asks, setting his end of the double bed down with a heavy sigh and receiving a groan from Sam on the other end.

Addison smirks. "I am helping. I'm watching the baby."

"Fine." He counts to three and lifts the bed back up as he and Sam carrying the mattress up the stairs to the guest room. Addison curls her legs underneath her and watches as Aubrey tries to lift her head off of the blanket. Aubrey lets out a sound of protest and her head drops back down. Addison lifts her up and bounces her around in her arms and then cradles her to her chest. Derek watches from the foyer and then Sam claps him on the back and they head back out to the moving van, passing Naomi and Violet on the way.

"Look at you, with the baby." Naomi says, grinning and sitting down on the couch. "You really love that little kid, don't you?"

"I love all babies." Addison says, smirking as Aubrey reaches for Violet's curls.

"Well you're going to have one more to love pretty soon." Naomi beams.

"Huh?"

"I'm pregnant."

Violet spins, letting out a yelp when Aubrey's grip on her hair tightens. "You're _what_?"

Addison shakes her head. "How did this happen?"

"You know, for an OB/GYN you're kind of slow." Naomi laughs and Addison rolls her eyes. "It just happened. I'm six weeks along."

Addison grins. "Nae, that's wonderful!"

"Sure, because we need more babies around the clinic." Violet shakes her head. "I mean Congratulations and all..."

Naomi laughs. "It's okay Vi. I know you don't really like kids."

"Especially not this one." Violet turns to Aubrey and frowns. "Let go of my hair." Aubrey lets out a giggle and yanks and Addison bursts into laughter. "Boy, you're funny."

"Who's funny?" Derek asks, coming into the room.

"Your kid won't let go of my hair."

He laughs. "She's pretty great, right?"

"Yes, Derek, wonderful." Violet deadpans. He laughs and takes Aubrey from Addison, managing to pull Violet's hair from the little ones grasp without hurting Violet too much. Cooper and Dell arrive with food, and as her coworkers and ex-husband mingle and talk, Addison feels like maybe this whole thing wasn't such a bad idea after all.

* * *

Six months pass almost without notice. Charlotte puts Derek back on the night shift when Aubrey is three months, and Addison doesn't see either of them for almost two weeks before Derek takes a night off. Aubrey is getting bigger and starting to look more and more like Meredith, with Derek's eyes and hair. When Aubrey reaches seven months she starts to mumble words like, "ma" and "boo", and her favorite game is "Peek-a-boo", but only when Addison and Sam play it with her, otherwise she still likes a game Violet calls "Aubrey's helping me lose my hair early".

One what would have been their 15th anniversary, Addison comes home from Naomi's check-up (she's seven and a half weeks along and doing wonderfully) to find the house lit with candles and Derek cooking in the kitchen.

"What is this?" She asks, setting her purse on the counter.

He turns and smiles. "It would have been our 15th anniversary today."

"Oh."

"I just thought it would be nice."

Addison nods and looks around the room. "Where's Aubrey?"

"Maya is watching her next door."

"Okay..." She sighs. "What's going on, Derek?"

"I just thought we could have dinner."

"Derek..."

"Just dinner, Addie."

She nods. "Okay."

Two bottles of wine later, Addison is curled up next to him on the couch as they watch _Pillow Talk_ and Derek was running his fingers through her hair. She starts to snuggle closer to him and as she falls asleep she hears him whisper, "I love you, Addie" and then spends the next two months pretending she has no idea he said it.


	3. Chapter 3

**All We Are**

_Lord knows I've failed you, time and again, but you and me are alright_

When Aubrey wakes up on her first birthday, she is no longer comfortably settled between the two adults in her life. Instead she is snuggled against Derek's chest, Addison's side of the frequently shared bed cold and empty.

"Dada." Aubrey tugs on her father's shirt, trying to pull her self up. "Wake!" Derek frowns and tries to pull Aubrey closer and get her to settle, but she just tugs at his shirt harder. "Waaake!"

"Alright," Derek groans and groggily opens his eyes. "I'm awake."

"Addie." She whimpers, pointing to the empty side of the bed. Derek frowns and sits up; searching the room for a sign that Addison was still there somewhere. Instead he finds a post-it note stuck to the back of his bedroom door, and slides out of bed to get it, putting a pillow next to Aubrey.

"Aunt Naomi is having her baby." He says, smiling. "Addie will be back after the baby is born."

"Mine."

Derek frowns. "No, sweetie, the baby's not yours."

Aubrey makes a face. "Addie, mine!"

He laughs softly and crawls back into bed, lifting Aubrey in to his lap. "Your Addie will be back as soon as she can, I promise." Aubrey lets out a frustrated sigh and then wriggles around in his lap until she's comfortable. "Do you know what today is?"

"No."

"It's your birthday." Derek says softly. "You're a year old."

"No."

He laughs. "Yes."

"No."

"We're going to teach you a new word."

"No." Aubrey giggles this time and buries her face in Derek's chest. He rubs her back and hugs her tight, kissing the top of her head.

"Happy Birthday little one."

"No."

* * *

When Addison finally arrives home that afternoon, Derek and Aubrey are in the back, Derek sitting in the sand and letting Aubrey crawl around on a blanket next to him. Addison kicks her heels off in the kitchen and walks calmly out to the beach before dropping to her knees, scooping Aubrey into her arms and hugging her as tight as she can.

"Addie." Aubrey whispers, not seeming to be bothered by the fact that Addison is nearly cutting off her breathing and sobbing into her hair. Derek reaches for Addison and her body starts to shake as she continues to cry. "No cry." Aubrey says, tilting her head back. "No."

"Addison, what's wrong?" Derek asks softly. "What happened?"

She shakes her head and hugs Aubrey tighter, not even realizing what she's doing until the little girl lets out a sound of protest and Addison finally loosens her grip. "There were complications." She says softly, wiping her tears and smoothing out the curls on Aubrey's head.

"Oh, Addie..."

"I had to choose. I had to choose between Naomi and her son." She lets out a sob. "Dell tried so hard. He tried so hard to save that baby but by the time Naomi was stable and I could get to the baby...there was nothing I could do."

Derek sighs softly. "Oh my god."

"Cooper sent Dell and I home, but I'm going back tomorrow. I want to be there when Naomi wakes up. I want to tell her how hard we tried."

"She'll know." Derek takes her hand as she lets Aubrey settle in her lap. "She'll know you tried your hardest."

Addison nods softly. "Sam said they were going to name him Devin. Devin Samuel Bennett."

"How is Sam?"

"He's devastated." Addison sets Aubrey back on the blanket and leans in to Derek. "The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. I clamped and cut it, but by the time I realized what was happening he was nearly blue. And then Naomi started hemorrhaging so I handed the baby to Dell. He mostly knew what he was doing; we were just...too late."

"I thought you said you had to choose."

She nods. "I was cutting the umbilical cord when she started bleeding. If I had been more careful with the cord and removed it from around his neck...but I couldn't, so I just cut it off and handed him to Dell.

"Addie..."

"I panicked."

"Anyone else in your situation would have done the same thing."

"I'm the best, Derek..."

"Addison, stop beating yourself up. It's not your fault."

She starts to cry again and Aubrey crawls into her lap and tugs on Addison's shirt. "Birday?"

Addison lets out a soft gasp. "Oh, I forgot." She wipes her tears and kisses Aubrey's head. "Happy Birthday sweetheart."

Aubrey shakes her head. "Baby? Birday?"

Addison frowns. "Derek, I..."

"I think she wants to know if she shares a birthday with the new baby."

"Birday baby." Aubrey says her blue eyes wide.

"Oh," Addison shakes her head. "No, sweetie, you don't share a birthday with the new baby. There is no new baby."

"No baby?"

"No."

"Nae cry?"

Addison nods. "Yes. Naomi's going to be very sad." Aubrey's face wrinkles and she reaches up and hugs Addison, who smiles softly and tries to relax a little.

* * *

A couple of hours later they eat, and then let Aubrey have her cake, which she promptly digs her face into, giggling when Derek takes a picture to send to his mother and then Addison jumps up to wipe the frosting off of the dress Aubrey's wearing.

They watch the sunset from the back porch and Aubrey falls asleep in Derek's arms; head resting under his chin; fist clutching his maroon shirt. He takes her up to the nursery and settles her in her crib, tucking a blanket around her and kissing her forehead. "Good night little one." He says softly, leaving the light on the changing table on as he leaves the room.

"She's getting so big." Addison says, coming up the stairs as he turns his end of the baby monitor on. "I don't think you'll be able to call her little one for much longer."

He smirks. "She'll always be my little one." Addison nods and leans against the railing. "Do you want a glass of wine or something?"

She shakes her head. "No. I was just coming up to say goodnight. I think I'm going to try and get some sleep."

"Okay." He kisses her cheek, something that she's become accustomed to as the last year has passed. It no longer feels awkward to have him near her. "I'll see you in the morning then."

"Yeah." She heads down the stairs and into her master bedroom, slipping into flannel pants and a tank top before snuggling under the covers. It takes her twenty minutes to realize that she no longer likes sleeping alone, and she reaches for her cell, because while her mind is still whirring, her body is actually far too tired to make the trek up to the guest room.

"Are you alright?"

"Um," Addison clears her throat. "Will you come sleep down here?"

"R-really?"

"Please, Derek." She takes a shaky breath, the tears from earlier coming back. "I-I need you."

"Yeah, I'm coming." He hangs up the phone and she's barely set her phone on the bedside table before he's in the room, setting the baby monitor on her dresser and crawling into the bed. "Is everything okay?"

She rests her head on his chest and shrugs. "I don't know. I just...Naomi doesn't even know what happened yet. And I...I just feel so bad for her."

"Addie, she'll pull through it. Naomi's a tough nut. So is Sam and they'll get through this together."

"We didn't." She says softly, closing her eyes. "And they're already divorced."

"This is different." Derek sighs. "When you lost the baby, I...I wasn't around. I thought that leaving you alone with your girl feelings would be easier for both of us." He lets out a grunt when she smacks his chest after his 'girl feelings' comment, but keeps on going. "I shouldn't have left you alone. I should have forced you to talk about it, and then maybe..."

"Maybe what?" She asks when he trails off. "Maybe we'd still be together?"

"Maybe we would, Addie."

She nods and he runs his fingers through her hair. "You still love me."

"W-what?"

"I heard you tell me. A few months ago." She tilts her head up. "Why?"

"Why did I tell you? Or why do I still love you?"

"Both."

"I told you because...well, honestly, I thought you were asleep. Although I guess a small part of me was hoping you were awake and would look up at me and tell me that you loved me too." He lets out a soft sigh and settles his hand on her shoulder. "And I still love you because I never stopped. We both did stupid things, Addie, but we were meant to be together."

"Derek..."

"I'm serious. I never should have hurt you. I want you to want to be with me again."

Addison let out a sigh. "Right now I just need you to hold me. Can you do that?"

"Of course I can." He presses a soft kiss to her lips and hugs her tight, tucking the blankets around her. She cries a little more, unable to help it after everything that has happened in just a few hours, and he rubs her back and runs his fingers through her hair until she's asleep in his arms.

* * *

Addison wakes slowly in the morning, feeling comfortable and safe still wrapped in his arms. She manages to wriggle out of the bed without waking him, and steps into her bathroom. She looks awful; her hair is disheveled and she's got mascara on her face, so she pulls her hair into a ponytail and washes her face. She dresses quietly and tiptoes out of the bedroom after leaving Derek a note on a post-it she attaches to the baby monitor.

When she arrives at St. Ambrose, Cooper is pacing outside Naomi's hospital room, Violet sitting on the chair across from him. Violet sees her first, and her face pales a little.

"What is it?" Addison asks, rushing to the door. "What's wrong?"

"Dell got here a few minutes ago. Sam told Naomi this morning she was fine; sad, but fine until Dell showed up." Violet places her hand on Addison's shoulder. "I don't think you should go in."

"I have to go in."

"Addison, she kicked Dell out so fast his head spun." Cooper said, leaning against the wall. "I really don't think it would be a good idea..."

"I don't care." Addison pushes past him and opens the door to the room. Sam turns around, his face streaked with tears, and Naomi looks up. "Nae..."

"You couldn't save him."

"Naomi, I tried." She shuts the door behind her, leaving Cooper and Violet in the hall outside. "I had to choose."

"What?"

"You started bleeding so fast...it was you or the baby, Nae and I...I couldn't let you go."

"You chose me because I'm your friend. Always save the baby, Addie, always!"

"No!" Addison stalks across the room, shoving Sam out of the way. "If I had focused on the baby instead of you, you could have died, don't you understand?"

Naomi bursts into tears and Addison closes her eyes, trying to fight off her own tears and focus on her best friend. When Naomi reaches for her hand Addison opens her eyes slowly, letting the tears trail down her cheeks.

"Oh, Addie…"

"I tried so hard, Nae. I did. Dell and I both did." She settles on the edge of the bed and squeezes her friend's hand. "I'm so sorry."

Naomi nods. "I know. I just…I can't believe this."

Sam sits down on the other side of the bed. "We're going to get through this, Nae. We're going to be fine."

"Sam…"

"No, Naomi, I love you. And we'll survive this, I promise."

"You will." Addison smiles softly. "You guys are strong."

"You and Derek…" Naomi takes a shaky breath. "You guys didn't survive this."

"Derek and I are different people…we were different then." She says softly. "He wasn't around and when he finally tried to be I pushed him away. You guys aren't like that."

"But…"

"Naomi." Addison takes hold of her friend's hands and grips them tightly. "Whether he's currently your husband or not, Sam loves you, and he's not going anywhere. You two will be fine."

"She's right," Sam says, running his fingers through Naomi's hair. "We're going to be just fine."

* * *

When Addison arrives home that afternoon the house is empty. The note on the fridge tells her that Derek is at work and that he and Aubrey will be home around nine. She heads into her bedroom to find that he's made her bed and cleaned up the clothes and shoes that had been lying on her floor for God only knows how long. There's a single red rose on her pillow and Addison kicks her shoes off and curls up on the bed, her hand wrapping around the flower stem and her face burying in the pillow Derek slept on the night before, which still smells like him.

This is how Derek finds her when he arrives at the house that evening, and when he lays a blanket over her, her eyes flutter open.

"I didn't mean to wake you." He says softly. "How did it go today?"

"It was okay," her voice is laced with sleep and she rubs her eyes a little, getting mascara on her hand. "I think Naomi and Sam are going to be alright."

"That's good."

"Yeah." She smiles softly and stares out her window, her thumb running gently over the soft rose petals.

"Do you need anything?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"No."

He smiles. "You sound like Aubrey." Addison lets out a soft laugh and then starts to cry, burying her face in her hands. "Addison…"

She doesn't say anything for a few minutes and just continues to cry as he rubs her back, trying to get her to calm down. "S-sorry." She finally stutters, looking up at him.

"It's alright." He runs his fingers through her hair. "What can I get you?"

"Nothing."

"You don't need anything?" He asks softly, wiping the remaining tears from her cheeks.

"Just you," she whispers, biting her lip. "Can I have you?"

He smiles. "I'm all yours."


End file.
